Is Your Significance Hidden Under Someone Else’s Opinion?


Have you ever had that feeling within that you just know you are not worthy? Every where you turn, every person you rely on to make you feel good about yourself and significant, seems to leave you still wanting. Me too.

Robert McGee wrote a great book called The Search for Significance and let me tell you, it’s a worthy read. He offers an equation that reflects Satan’s lies about our worth,

Self-worth = Performance + Other’s Opinions”

He continues, “Can we trust God’s complete acceptance of us as His sons and daughters and allow Him to free us from our dependency on success and the approval of others? Rejecting Satan’s lies and accepting God’s evaluation of us leads to a renewed hope, joy, and purpose in life. We all have compelling, God-given needs for love, acceptance, and purpose, and most of us will go to virtually any length to meet those needs.” Lord help us, “virtually any length”.

If we let ourselves stay in that spot where we remember those embarrassing, hurtful things we did or said to meet our needs we will become filled with shame and regret. And man o man, that’s right where Satan wants us. That’s not where God wants us though. When we accepted Jesus as our Savior, we became new creatures. We gained the ability to work with the Holy Spirit to renew our minds. We have this power available, yet we don’t always use it. We are not who we used to be so let’s stop living like we are.

Searching For Significance

The validation we so desperately seek can only come from the relationship we often run to last – our relationship with Jesus.

My dear children, let’s not just talk about love; let’s practice real love. This is the only way we’ll know we’re living truly, living in God’s reality. It’s also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves.

And friends, once that’s taken care of and we’re no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we’re bold and free before God! We’re able to stretch our hands out and receive what we asked for because we’re doing what he said, doing what pleases him. Again, this is God’s command: to believe in his personally named Son, Jesus Christ. He told us to love each other, in line with the original command. As we keep his commands, we live deeply and surely in him, and he lives in us. And this is how we experience his deep and abiding presence in us: by the Spirit he gave us.” 1 John 3:18-24, MSG

“The Father is busy in our lives even when we are unaware of His activities. He wants us to find freedom in this life. He is determined that we have a chance for this freedom. Although we will never experience absolute freedom this side of heaven, if we are willing to cooperate with His plan, we can experience much more than we could ever imagine. This will be a process. It will occur only as we are willing to go to a deeper level in our relationship with Him. There will be struggles and many failures along the way. However, the Father does not get tired of being there to bring us to victory. The only question is, Are we willing to go with Him?”

Maybe the equation we really should grab hold to is…

Self-worth = Christ’s redemptive work + Our cooperation in His plan

Are we willing to work the process? Are we ready to roll up our sleeves and do the hard work? Understanding our true significance lays on the other side.

Linking with…Suzie Eller at #livefree Thursday, Kelly Balarie at Purposeful Faith, Holly Barrett at Testimony Tuesday and Susan B. Mead at #DanceWithJesus Friday


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  1. Hi Carmen you won’t believe the topic that is welling up in y heart? “Why are women losing their authenticity”… This obsession about getting people’s approval makes us lose it! Our self worth is never tied to what others think no matter what the world wants us to believe.
    Thankful for your words here friend.

    How have you been?
    Blessings to you friend

  2. Carmen, this is probably the most life-changing book I ever read. So funny that when I read it in my 20’s, it didn’t speak so loudly as when I read it in my 40’s. I love the point he makes about saying, “My boss/husband/mom might be upset at me, but that does not change the fact that I am deeply loved, fully forgiven, and totally accepted in Christ.” So life-chaning.

    I also linked up a post related to this same book. But it wasn’t a new post. In retrospect, I wish I’d reposted:

  3. I’m a first time visitor to your blog (from Compel) and loved this post! That book is definitely going on my Amazon wish list. Such truth about God’s view of us, and that is where we need to anchor our self-worth. In Him, we are enough.

    1. Hey Darcy! So glad you stopped by for a visit. Love my Compel friends :) “Search For Significance” is such an amazing book. I know it will help you see who you are in Christ. Peace and Grace to you!

  4. This is so powerful, Carmen! As women, I think we’ve all struggled with self worth at some point in our lives. I love how you address the lie and replace it with the truth. I look forward to reading more of your posts!

  5. I read the Search for Significance as a teen, such a great book! Gosh, I think I still have it. Will have to dig it out and give it a re-read. Thank you for your encouragement today. I love reading articles from fellow #livefreeThursday and #DanceWithJesusFriday bloggers!

  6. Thank you for reminding me of these truths, Carmen. I have read McGee’s book some time ago, and it made an impact on me, but I so easily forget our self-worth is in Jesus. I have to continually remind myself that my identity is in Jesus, not in Satan’s lies. Blessings to you!