Healing

Learning To See Value In Our Path Today…

Learning To See Value In Our Path Today…

When, as a child,  I wished for summer, my birthday, or Christmas my mom would say, “Carmen, you’re wishing your life away.” I didn’t quite grasp what she meant. My life seemed endless before me. Now as an adult, there have been seasons – days, weeks, months – that I wanted to wish away too. Seeing no value in the path I was walking. One of the things that has encouraged me during a difficult…

The Foreign Language of Growth

The Foreign Language of Growth

“Carmen, you have the opportunity to help Lary be a better man.” When Gil, our counselor, spoke those words it almost seemed like he was speaking in a foreign language. We married when I was only sixteen years old. He, twenty. By the time Gil said that, our marriage had long established behaviors (ruts). The concept that I should do anything that might make Lary uncomfortable or upset (on purpose) seemed ridiculous. I saved those…

The Blame Game Can Be Deadly

The Blame Game Can Be Deadly

Sometimes it seems as if the odds are stacked against us. Have you ever said, “This is just who I am or how I was raised.”? Struggling with a habit or behavior that is hard to change is so frustrating. We’ve all heard the statistics –  abuse victims are more likely to abuse, children of alcoholics are more likely to become alcoholics and obesity tends to run in families. I am a child of divorced parents…

Because Honoring Our Dad is Right

Today my dad has been enjoying heaven for three years. Time does fly and then again, I can close my eyes and remember that day and those preceding it so vividly. As I read this again today, I asked myself are these words still me. Did I still feel as if they honored my dad and our relationship. I think they do. The original title was “It’s Complicated” and written on June 17, 2012, just a…